Naamkoron-er Sharthokota
what were my parents thinking when they named me 'Doyeeta'? doyeeta is so not me...
for the past 21 years, whenever i said my name is doyeeta, the other person inevitably said, "what? joyeeta?", and i replied "no, d as in delhi". my parents tell me when i was a kid, i used to get so pissed that i looked the other way when anybody asked me my name.
well, it did have the merit of being uncommon, but even that illusion was soon destroyed! there was another 'doita' in my school, in my own class, who then went on to become one of my closest friends.
with every passing day i hated my name even more. in class IX i read a seedy novel by suchitra bhattacharya, the protagonist was called 'doyeeta'. she was [ i then thought] a very immoral and horrible woman, because she slept with her fifty year old, married professor. (now i know Ms.bhattacharya was merely, in the time honoured manner of vaalmiki, writing the ramayana before the birth of ram!!)
it was when i entered college and people asked me the meaning of my name that i realised fully what a curse this name was. whenever i said 'doyeeta' means beloved/lover/darling, i was answered by smirks, sniggers or raised eyebrows (not unsurprisingly!)
doyeeta is a nyaka girl's name for chrissake, its a sissy name, with no fizz, no gumption, no...no force...on top of that its pretentious, there are some who insist on calling me "doi" which makes me want to vomit on their faces. aaaaaRGGGGHHH.
come to think of it, my friends' names are no better. i have a friend called suchismita, their is nothing suchi about her smile, indeed she rarely smiles. she guffaws in a most unladylike fashion from time to time. she should have been called "pigface" or "mem boroni debi"..but i suppose its too late now.
then there is laddoo, whose real name, believe it or not, is debarshi kumar banerjee. his grandmother ( may she rest in peace) was obviously not in her right mind. there is a narod-like side to him, i will not deny that. but debarshi kumar banerjee? a 23 year old alcoholic who has hair like...like jimi hendrix??
take shonai, who is called sayantani, which is a fat girl's name. a fat ,staid, bespectacled, salwar kameez clad girl's name. not even shonai suits her, she is like this alien from outer space, speaks a language which sounds gibberish to us, frowns and paints naked humans bleeding to death, wears a military print half-pant and a t-shirt with death's head on it, tattoos her own arm with a needle and gel pen...
she is...i mean she should be called milippipping khruk or something like that!!
i have two friends called subhayu. subhayu bhattacharya is the kind of boy our grandfathers or great uncles would immediately label as "kaapten" or "laayek". i mean, ideally his name should have been poltu or tenida! the other one, mukherji, well, he doesn't look a subhayu either, he is so,so...pnaachu!
romyo: his real name is diptarko, people call him romyo, he calls people bhosriwaal. i rest my case.
nandita: she is this wannabe don-type figure, she is not entirely devoid of the nyaka raabindrik shotta her name implies, she even looks like the archetypal boro bou, but stay with her for five days and you wonder why she is called nandita, or her father is called malobika roy, for that matter! she was born to be called mintu. all her role models and neighbours and best friends are called mintu. she says the name mintu like 108 times a day, like horinaam jop.
howlie, also, is called amrita.. (nobody knows by whom!) but if you have even seen her from a distance you know she cannot possibly be anything but howlie.
also, there is basu, whose name is soumyojyoti. he was very soumyojyoti (or nerd-like, kyalane, shaanto shishto) till about age 14. then he developed biceps, beat up people regularly, got stoned, got dumped, and developed some more muscles. he calls himself "the basu"...you know the type...under such circumstances, being called soumyojyoti is as ludicrous as my being called shaantilata, or my mother being called sharmila. (which, incidentally, she is called!)
bimbabati is the only friend i have whose name suits her. its the name of a freak, and she is indeed a freak of nature, unique specimen. the kind who are eventually killed off, preserved in formalin and studied by aspiring doctors.
know how the anabaptists believed in adult baptism(and nudity, among other things!)?? time to think about adult naming ceremonies? eh? like, you choose your name only when its time to enter it in a voting list, until that time you are called young-miss-majumder (the-tall-bespectacled-one-with-a-braid!) or something like that... what say?
for the past 21 years, whenever i said my name is doyeeta, the other person inevitably said, "what? joyeeta?", and i replied "no, d as in delhi". my parents tell me when i was a kid, i used to get so pissed that i looked the other way when anybody asked me my name.
well, it did have the merit of being uncommon, but even that illusion was soon destroyed! there was another 'doita' in my school, in my own class, who then went on to become one of my closest friends.
with every passing day i hated my name even more. in class IX i read a seedy novel by suchitra bhattacharya, the protagonist was called 'doyeeta'. she was [ i then thought] a very immoral and horrible woman, because she slept with her fifty year old, married professor. (now i know Ms.bhattacharya was merely, in the time honoured manner of vaalmiki, writing the ramayana before the birth of ram!!)
it was when i entered college and people asked me the meaning of my name that i realised fully what a curse this name was. whenever i said 'doyeeta' means beloved/lover/darling, i was answered by smirks, sniggers or raised eyebrows (not unsurprisingly!)
doyeeta is a nyaka girl's name for chrissake, its a sissy name, with no fizz, no gumption, no...no force...on top of that its pretentious, there are some who insist on calling me "doi" which makes me want to vomit on their faces. aaaaaRGGGGHHH.
come to think of it, my friends' names are no better. i have a friend called suchismita, their is nothing suchi about her smile, indeed she rarely smiles. she guffaws in a most unladylike fashion from time to time. she should have been called "pigface" or "mem boroni debi"..but i suppose its too late now.
then there is laddoo, whose real name, believe it or not, is debarshi kumar banerjee. his grandmother ( may she rest in peace) was obviously not in her right mind. there is a narod-like side to him, i will not deny that. but debarshi kumar banerjee? a 23 year old alcoholic who has hair like...like jimi hendrix??
take shonai, who is called sayantani, which is a fat girl's name. a fat ,staid, bespectacled, salwar kameez clad girl's name. not even shonai suits her, she is like this alien from outer space, speaks a language which sounds gibberish to us, frowns and paints naked humans bleeding to death, wears a military print half-pant and a t-shirt with death's head on it, tattoos her own arm with a needle and gel pen...
she is...i mean she should be called milippipping khruk or something like that!!
i have two friends called subhayu. subhayu bhattacharya is the kind of boy our grandfathers or great uncles would immediately label as "kaapten" or "laayek". i mean, ideally his name should have been poltu or tenida! the other one, mukherji, well, he doesn't look a subhayu either, he is so,so...pnaachu!
romyo: his real name is diptarko, people call him romyo, he calls people bhosriwaal. i rest my case.
nandita: she is this wannabe don-type figure, she is not entirely devoid of the nyaka raabindrik shotta her name implies, she even looks like the archetypal boro bou, but stay with her for five days and you wonder why she is called nandita, or her father is called malobika roy, for that matter! she was born to be called mintu. all her role models and neighbours and best friends are called mintu. she says the name mintu like 108 times a day, like horinaam jop.
howlie, also, is called amrita.. (nobody knows by whom!) but if you have even seen her from a distance you know she cannot possibly be anything but howlie.
also, there is basu, whose name is soumyojyoti. he was very soumyojyoti (or nerd-like, kyalane, shaanto shishto) till about age 14. then he developed biceps, beat up people regularly, got stoned, got dumped, and developed some more muscles. he calls himself "the basu"...you know the type...under such circumstances, being called soumyojyoti is as ludicrous as my being called shaantilata, or my mother being called sharmila. (which, incidentally, she is called!)
bimbabati is the only friend i have whose name suits her. its the name of a freak, and she is indeed a freak of nature, unique specimen. the kind who are eventually killed off, preserved in formalin and studied by aspiring doctors.
know how the anabaptists believed in adult baptism(and nudity, among other things!)?? time to think about adult naming ceremonies? eh? like, you choose your name only when its time to enter it in a voting list, until that time you are called young-miss-majumder (the-tall-bespectacled-one-with-a-braid!) or something like that... what say?
posted by mojo at 2:08 AM
12 Comments:
you be much weird and be having too much spare time on your hands.
btw, subhayu (phd) is NOT a pnaachu. still trying to figure out what he is, but not that!
na bhai. my name sounds like a 19th century ginnir name. (a la 'sei somoy'). i refuse to accept that it fits me.
p.s. bnete bole opomaan korli ki?
Amar toppest happiness hoto jodi Mintu Datta hamar baap hoto aar amar naam Renaissance hoto.
I wouldn't mind if it was spelt Renaisance or Renesaans. Shotti.
I love Mintu. All Mintus. I have Mintu fetish. You are right.
hello, unfairness! I wear salwar kammez, I have power too, and come on! I'm not fat? my name TOTALLY suits me.
nyaahahahahhahahaha!
@pigface: he is so pnaachu...and i have spare time? look who's talking.
@exhibit A: bnete bole? kokhon? aar opomaan jodi bujhtei naa paarish kaatiye de.
@mintuda: i am always right.:D
@thonai: who're you kidding dude? you know you are a marked woman, wanted by the police... :P
One of my frined's friend was named Homarghyo Hom-Ray.
One of my co-worker is named Mohini JambuLingam.
Another is called Anal Hydrose.
You have no idea how normal a name you have.
Hashte hashte morein gelam. Please amar naam analyse kor. Ar amay ekta naam de. Please please. Dont try to be kind. =P
Also, if I ever meet another Doyeeta, I will be disgusted if she's not like you. And I will stop calling you Doi. There is a girl in my school called Ayeeta, pronounced Oita.
@satraa: i bet you made anal hydrose up. ota hotey paare na
my name's normal enough. it just doesnt suit me.
@srin: ok. will do. and i hate "Doi" because i cant stand "doi"...as in the phood item!
that horrible novel. was it not serialized in sananda (or anandalok, one of those) and was the protagonist's mother's name not monidipa?
**cringes in complete agony**
@mandy: don't remember the mother's name. the prof was called bodhisatwa majumder. so doyeeta eventually became majumder from mitra. i read the book. not the serialized version.
Gah. I'm named after the meeting place of three sacred rivers. How apt, when I'm a devout Atheist, and there is not a sacred drop in me. Imagine being named after a place! How base. That too, it was done for the sake of symetry, coz didi is named Mohana, ie, the place where the river meets the sea.
Also, people have called me Paan Parag, Prayag GAY, Gayarp, Proggo, Poya, and other such demeaning things all my life.
Ps: Loved this post.
Hey I am a Suchismita too, and thankfully, not the Suchismita you have mentioned. I hate my name too, like everyone else. Earlier it was because people always shortened it to suchis or susu or stuff like that, and now because Suchismita also means Durga, the goddess, and my husband is called Debsena, which is another name for both Kartick, her son and his wife. Either way, it's incestuous and blasphemous.
You still think Doyita is a bad name? Come talk to me.
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