incoherence

i did a strange thing today. i stretched myself on the , shiny emerald green floor and felt the metallic -cold of the cement against my palms ,my cheeks, my shorts-clad bare legs, i felt the warmth of blood seep in, i put my ear against it and heard the throbbing of four generations of hearts, i heard the far away din of 72 long years of laughter,conversations, fights and weepings, i saw fleeting glimpses of births, deaths, marriages, funerals, jhulons, saraswati pujos...i whispered to my house and it whispered back, and then i kissed the floor and asked for its forgiveness, for i am powerless to stop what is going to happen to my home...i feel like a hypocritical,two-faced,lying,conniving,snivelling,spineless bitch...four poster beds look incongruous in cramped,two roomed, low ceilinged flats....i am sorry,i am sorry...