kaminey!

i am arrogant, and pride is one of the seven deadly sins. tactlessness, though not officially in the list, is another deadly baby. i am being punished for that. that is just.

i am proud and stupid and tactless. and this world is full of opportunistic, two-faced, hypocritical, dirty, rotten scoundrels. and i just left it wide open for them. its a lesson that could only be learnt the hard way. i am glad i learnt it. whatever humiliation i have to bear is a necessary consequence of my folly, my rashness...

what i cannot accept with good grace, is that people i love and respect A LOT are stuck in this ugly morass because of my utter stupidity.

and in some tiny, almost imperceptible way, i know that i have failed them.

what is appalling though is the triviality and pettiness of it all...

homogenous empty flow

aaj bhi na aye aasoo
aaj bhi na bheege nain
aaj bhi yeh kori raina
kori laut jayegi...

catch 22

he is like nobody since i love him. if i could write i would write. but since i can't, i will quote. and keep burning in the meantime.
our petrarchan lover, poor chap, is truly buggered from all sides. never laugh at our petrarchan lover, gentle reader. one day his fate might befall you.
such misery, such desire, such torment, and when he looks at me and smiles all of a sudden a tidal wave of golden light. pure undiluted ecstasy.