cliched story

Once upon a time in a civilized, secular city there was a boy,who was poor and a muslim. and there was a girl who was rich and a hindu. they fell in love. her family disapproved. they eloped and got married. the family members were hurt. now, the head honchos of the police, for some unfathomable reason took matters into their hands and interceded on the family's behalf. maybe their benevolent souls were touched by the family's grief. anyhow, they tried to coax,cajole and finally coerce the boy into leaving the girl. the guy was poor, the girl was rich. but they were in love, and newly married. so he ignored their threats and their bribes. sounds like a plot replicated in a zillion bollywood movies? here comes the twist.
the girl went to visit her father,rumoured to be on his deathbed, and never came back. a few days later the boy died. ostensibly he committed suicide. very likely, right?the most natural thing ,for a spirited,defiant young man,all geared up to fight for his rights, to do?and perhaps the most convenient thing to happen for all parties concerned......
the girl is nowhere to be found. the familyhas vanished without a trace. and the head honchos,inthe time honoured manner of all head honchos escape unscathed.the media and the politicians have a ball,cashing in and slinging mud to their hearts content.the girl is silent. as always.
moral of the story: there are two kinds of people in this world,only two kinds. ones who are rich,have power, have agency, in short ones with clout. and ones who are poor,with no clout,who are disempowered to an extent that it is a wonder that they survive.and the ones who can get away with it make this world a shitty place for the ones who cant.i am not saying that the religious factor isinsignificant in this case. but would this have happened if the guy in question had been shahrukh khan? no. but this might have happened if the guy was a hindu,and as poor,as disempowered.
but this is a convenient ending to a hackneyed story. this is how it always ends. men are either made to conform or killed. and we,women, cant make a difference anyway,or choose not to.

from the autumn testament

sometime if we are not yet
if we are not gone,if we have not come
under seven layers of dust
and Death's dry footsteps
we shall be together ,love
strangely confused together,
our spines,our cheeky eyes
our feet which never met
our indelible kisses. but what is the use
of graveyard unity? let life not
part us,and to hell with death.

i quote from memory,so please pardon omissions or alterations,if any. i am not good at this.

random ranting

oh and i also forgot to whine about how they don't make them like that anymore,ones-who-can-make-you-go-wobbly-at-the-knees-with-one-single-glance,damn!!

men,i mean,of course.

its a rich man's world

i am going through an all time low as far as finances are concerned, neither my birthday nor the upcoming pujo yielded enough cash from my 'raboner gushti', i mean whats the use of having a dozen uncles if they aren't going to pamper the youngest in the family by showering her with blessings(monetary ones, that is).
1)haven't been to oly in 9 months!!! christ!! i am mortified.
2)of all times,i chose the present to fall in love with,of all things,smirnoff green apple twist, which costs 130 freakin bucks a nib!!
3)have to take the boyfriend out for dinner.
4)and then there is pujo....i hoped to drown myself in expensive booze,but never got around savingenough dough.
5)swimming season over, taar maane full fledged smoking begins again, tar maane 4 bucks per cigarette!!!
bottomline (for dimwitted people like march hare who always miss the point) too many things to do,too little money to do them with,i think i will go rob a bank or something.........

absurd

I suck at crossing streets. whenever i see a car or a bus speeding towards me i shut my eyes and stand rooted to the spot...which is just about the surest way to commit suicide. yesterday while stranded at the rashbehari crossing opposite Jugals it suddenly occurred to me that whenever i get out of my house i place my life in other people's hands. we all do. think about it. we start walking when the traffic signal is red, which means that we have faith on those people who are behind the wheels that they would not suddenly start their car and run us over. there is no reason why they should, again there is no guarantee that they won't. right? the fact that we do not go to work everyday armed and armoured from head to toe proves that we take it for granted that...say for example,our colleagues wont stab us in a fit of anger...or bash our heads against the wall or even shoot us. i know this sounds absurd but think about the world we inhabit...you go to a theatre with your family,and there is a blast and 90 people die, or you are going to office and a bus runs you over trying to overtake another, or there is a blast in the metro...yet we keep faith. perhaps mainly because there is no other way to survive,if you lose faith in your fellow human beings you will crack under the strain and probably be diagnosed with schizophrenia, but partly also because we want to. this entrusting of one's life into hands of complete strangers,this keeping of faith i think is the mark of civilization, of a community. there is something very tragically naive in this....human beings still believing in a cause and effect correlation, still looking for a rationale, still believing in an essentially arbitrary, absurd , and irrational universe.